I like a foul comic story. Dad jokes, horrible puns, and oneliners—all of them enchantment to me, which is why I’ve at all times discovered the Borderlands universe painfully humorously. I’m nonetheless giggling concerning the town known as Buttsville in Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands. The authentic Tales from the Borderlands used to be as hilarious because used to be heartwarming, introducing new characters who—because of its journey of video game construction—in truth had an objective and a tale I cared about. And regardless of the style shift, it used to be very lot a Borderlands sport in every sense: vault-looking, scams, capitalism, weapons, and peculiar humor.
Need to understand
What is it? An episodic, QTE-heavy narrative-driven Borderlands spin-off.
Expect to pay: £34.99/ $39.99
Developer: Gearbox Studios
Publisher: 2K
Reviewed on: Intel i7-9700F, RTX 2070 Super, 32GB RAM
Multiplayer? No
Link: https://newtalesborderlands.2k.com/
Release date: 21 October 2022
New Tales remains to be humorous, however too many jokes overstay their welcome, and in total, it simply feels just a little rushed. It’s glaring that Gearbox has attempted to mimic the pacing and storytelling taste of Tales, however as a substitute, we have the creation of characters who’re by no means noticed once more and plot issues that finally end up being loopholes.
The narrator in New Tales from the Borderlands introduces the 3 primary characters as idiots and doofuses and he isn’t flawed. Our trio of ‘heroes’ may well be one of the most disturbing protagonists I’ve ever performed as, which is a credit score to the writing group as a result of that is precisely how they are intended to be. You play as every persona in rotation and can keep watch over quite a lot of conversations in a bunch environment. An assassination bot, Lou13, could also be provided for almost all of the tale however you aren’t getting to play him, which is somewhat disappointing
Let me introduce those dinguses: there is Anu—a nerdy physician and concerned, socially inept weirdo—and her more youthful brother, Octavio, a clout chaser. If TikTok has been within the Borderlands universe he will be the most disturbing writer on the app. And Fran? I reasonably like Fran. She’s confident and makes it her venture to not lose her shit on the different two idiots every 5 seconds. She made a large number of intercourse jokes that I laughed at, and a few I made a stunned Pikachu face at, so I’ve some sophisticated emotions about her.
New Tales from the Borderlands stocks an identical theme to the remainder of the collection: one mega corp is attempting to take over the opposite, whilst looking for Vaults and the treasures that lay inside. Eridium, simply probably the most sought-after commodity in Borderlands, can transfer over in New Tales: it is therapeutic shard time. Only, there is an offending entity that lives within the shard and is been separated from their death-dealing cosmic dual. And did I point out that Tediore has controlled to get their fingers on it and that the sentient shard has possessed Anu and no person is aware of what to do about it? Yikes.
This is… in truth a cage
For as soon, there is now not a lot center of attention on the primary or supporting persona’s backstories, which is reasonably refreshing. I do not a lot care about who those losers have been ahead of they became bomb professionals/sniper/taco-stand proprietors. There’s a quick turnaround of introductions the place mentioned characters are simplest, in short, noticed once more in montages. There are a large number of montages, one in keeping with the act, and so they kinda sucked. I might have somewhat they have been playable sequences and, whilst the songs utilized in them have been excellent, there wasn’t the standard bombastic use of song to set the scene as in different Borderlands video games.
Whether it used to be the cheap factor or time constraint, a lot is lacking from New Tales. All of the episodes are to be had prematurely, so you will not be ready for months between releases, however, you might be for sure nonetheless left short. In one series, Anu and Fran are in a shark tank and Fran is thrashing up sharks. Only, it is all a QTE with Octavio narrating, and—apart from a snappy take look at the blood seeping into the tank—you do not see any of the motion. And for the reason that Fran’s entire vibe—will have to you select to stay here at the directly and slender—is “I will be able to now not smash my anger sobriety”, it used to be disappointing to peer all of it lowered to a behind-the-scenes match.
QTEs felt overused—did I desire a quick-time series to slap some cage bars, or as a part of a gratuitously overdrawn ‘science experiment’ to peer if the therapeutic shard labored? There are a large number of what can have been amusing moments hidden in the back of QTEs, and I will be able to’t assist however really feel {that a} paced unencumber of every bankruptcy so that extra time might be spent on New Tales construction would be the simpler possibility. You can mess around with the trouble of QTEs within the menu, and failing one does not routinely result in death or a sports lover, however, it’ll affect the tale in ways that may not be transparent in a while.

5 billion greenbacks? That’s virtually 6 billion greenbacks…
As standard, New Tales is complete with bathroom humor and is truly humorous, however, you most likely may not in finding it as humorous if you do not like memes. Fran and Lou13, specifically, had some cracking one-liners that had me pausing the sport to chuckle. In between the standard awkward, *finger weapons* varieties of laughs like “[scream internally] ” and well-timed use of the word “thirsty”, there is a connection with OnlyFanatics (when you guessed it is OnlyFrans, then nicely completed), and insults about taking part in narrative-driven video games with a large number of fourth-wall-breaking stares.
On the turn aspect, there are a large number of sex-heavy jokes that do not land nicely in any respect, and lots of which might be recycled making them just a little stale after a couple of hours. It’s additionally painfully dull to peer the characters in nearly a similar scenario every time. Anu will likely be freaking out and being tremendous awks, Octavio will play buzzword bingo by way of himself and act painfully incompetent, and Fran is most likely making the placement sexually nerve-racking for causes. It takes the vast majority of New Tales to peer some actual expansion between the characters however for some explanation of why they simply by no means appear to be told. Or perhaps I simply made some dangerous choices for them.
At the tip of every episode, you get a score of ways nicely every persona is bonding with the opposite, and Lou13 will charge your group’s morale on a scale of 0 to skateboards. Why skateboards, you ask? No thought, it’s by no means correctly defined instead Lou13 trying reasonably laborious to be rad however sadly was given all of his cool men chat from Octavio.

I used to be fired for taking part in Vaultlanders
The Vaultlander’s motion determines minigame is superb, alternatively. Vaultlanders are motion figures of characters from earlier video games, like Maya, Fl4k, and Brick. Each has distinctive assault and defensive stats and a final of types you’ll be able to use mid-fight. It is Mortal Kombat however with plastic figures. You whack your motion determine off your fighters, dodging assaults after which hit them with crit assaults till you get an Ok.O. It’s as silly as it sounds and I like that you’ll be able to get the right of entry to suits at any time from the principal menu.
There’s a habitual persona—discovered in lots of chilly garage spaces for causes that might be by no means defined—who jogs my memory of your rival within the Pokemon video games. If you in finding him, you might be locked into combat and profitable the fights method you’ll be able to take the Vaultlander figurine from him. Once you will have received the primary combat in opposition to him, you’ll be able to make a selection to play Vaultlanders suits from the principal menu, if you want a smash from the tale. Unfortunately, encountering the Badass Superfan falls into the similar repetitive tale lure as the remainder of the non-QTE sections: You can in any case roam unfastened, loot some bins, oh and a bit of recommended tells you there is a Vaultlander or two hidden on this very small space.

The Badass Superfan and the remainder of the Tediore infantrymen are one of the best possible tertiary characters. The banter between them is so silly and humorous and I unpleasant laughed so much. It jogs my memory a large number of Jake Peralta and the Brooklyn 99 squad—rambling, sort-of incoherent nonsense that is only for laughs. One of the warriors forgets his teammate’s title and is solely shouting “Doug? Wait, is not it Anthony? Doug Anthony?” and the absurdity of it going down right through what’s in truth reasonably a nerve-racking stealth QTE venture made it funnier. Throughout the tale, there is an excellent mixture of point-of-fact dumb humor with critical decision-making or QTE occasions that saves it from being soulless, however, there is nonetheless one thing lacking.
Sadly, the Telltale magic simply is not there. There are predictable twists and marvel occasions right through the tale with numerous successes and pitfalls, however, Gearbox simply hasn’t controlled to get the pacing proper. Chapter-based video games can at all times feel like just a little of a slog within the center, however, portions of this have been downright painful to get thru. You cannot even skip forward with the discussion so you might be trapped in a chain till both QTE starts or you’ll be able to in any case have some freedom to wander a couple of tiny, restricted spaces. It’s obscure who the objective target market for New Tales is, instead of elder millennials with a cynical sense of humor. It made me chuckle so much, however, similarly, there have been too many sections that I sought after to simply be over already which sucked a large number of the thrill out of it.